The Mormons Don’t Owe You an Apology

This is going to be an angry blog.  I’m going to use some naughty language and I am going to be inconsiderate of some people’s feelings.  If that’s going to bug you, stop reading now.  No, seriously, stop reading now and pick me up tomorrow.  It’s late.  I’m tired and I got about a third of my “to do” list done today.  And no chastisement!  It’s my blog and I can bitch if I want to. Wait, no, don’t say “bitch” like that.  It’s misogynistic.  I’m just leaving it there to remind you while I remind myself.  To use “bitch” like that implies that women gripe and complain more than men do and anybody who believes that has obviously not spent very much time around a bunch of male Marines.  But like I said, this is my blog and I can b…. er, gripe if I want to.

Hey gay people, THE MORMONS DO NOT OWE YOU AN APOLOGY!  I’ve actually heard some gay folk saying What’s-Her-Name Fudge Packer should apologize for preaching from their satellite-enhanced pulpit that being gay is an abomination and that same-sex marriage should not be allowed.  Is this a revelation to anybody, that Mormons believe this?  Hell no.  Everybody knows it’s what they believe, especially after Prop Hate.  And you know what?  Sad as it is, they get to preach that ignorant shit all they want to, ‘cause this is America and here in America we have freedom of religion.  I put on the uniform of the United States Marine and was willing to give my life so that people can have that freedom and bygoddammit I’m going to continue to fight for it.  They get to stand up there and be complete assholes all they want.  And YES, before you even say it, even if young gay people are hearing it and hating themselves or trying to change themselves are even worse, trying to kill themselves.  The Mormons still get to say that homosexuality is a sin.  They still get to run around spouting that “ex-gay” horseshit while treating the West Jordan 24 Hour Fitness like a fucking bathhouse.  I have seen more hard dicks shoved back into magic underwear that I care to mention.  The worst part of the whole thing is that you end up with a bunch of sweet, caring women marrying fags, not to mention the women who would be oh-so-happy coming home to a wife but shudder and the thought of their husband crawling on top of them.  I’ve met them!  I’ve heard the stories!  I’ve had it up to my gay-ass eyebrows with queer Mormons who insist on marrying people of the opposite sex! And these are the same motherfuckers who will talk that anti-gay shit to anyone who will listen.  And before they finally give up and give in to the way God created them, they’ve usually shit out about a half-dozen kids or so.  If nothing else, think of the kids you selfish assholes! Okay, I warned you not to read it.  It’s your fault for not taking my advice.  Even so, you know what the Mormons get to do?  They get to stand up there and say exactly what they believe.  In fact, instead of wasting time asking them to apologize for saying what they believe, I believe we should be helping them let people know what they believe.  Because I guaran-goddamn-tee you if all those Glenn Beck-listening motherfuckers knew what he really believes (if he truly believes Mormon doctrine) then they wouldn’t be listening.  These are the same people who believe that this dude stuck his face in his hat and got a revelation from God! These are the same people that believe that at one time it was sanctioned by God for old men to fuck little girls.  Scratch that, to fuck many little girls because God had revealed His will that they should be his wives… I’m mean come ON!  That’s fucking criminal.  And I’ll say this too as long as I’m being such a prick about the whole thing, NO man should ever have ANY authority over a woman simply because he is a man.  If that’s what your religion teaches you, your religion is wrong.  Fuck religious tolerance, I’m telling you it’s flat wrong. So let them get up there and continue to proudly own their ridiculous beliefs about homosexuality.  In ten years they’ll be trying to do the same fucking tap dance around this issue as they try to do around race now.  I’ve got news for you.  Racism didn’t become wrong in 1978.  It was always wrong.  And just because to hold onto that “mark of Cain” shit would have driven the church into the ground financially is no good reason to abandon your racist policies.  I mean come on!  Have some fucking backbone.  And those old men would STILL be taking plural teenage wives if the fucking US Army wasn’t marching west to square their shit away and if they didn’t rethink the whole think when they thought it advantageous to join the Union.

Yes, Mormon teachings around homosexuality harm kids.  It is disgusting.  It is wrong. It’s criminal. And they get to preach it all they want.  And we should be holding the spotlight on it at every opportunity.  Not asking for a fucking apology.  We should also be letting the kids know that one day they can escape, and that so many of us have known the horrors firsthand of the psychological and spiritual abuse that comes from this fundamentalist crap.  And they should be told that many of us have overcome the oppression, that many of us have come to understand the truth and heal from the lies.  They should get to hear from those of us who did try to take our own lives because we were gay and living under religious oppression.  And they should know that some of our families have educated themselves and have seen the light.  It can happen.  But if their families cannot or will not, there are families of choice who will just love to receive them just as they are.

I’ve had countless Mormons come and thank me for my always trying to reach out and find common ground. (I’ve probably blown that one once and for all tonight.)  I’ve even had Mormons tell me they want to be confederates with us in our struggle.  If you are a Mormon and you want to help end the psychological torture of young gay Mormons (and hell, grown gay Mormons as well), speak out!  Speak out loud until your church wakes the fuck up or excommunicates you.  I promise you Heavenly Father will reward you richly for it.  Silence implies consent.

So I’m going to keep on being as visible as I can to let these young versions of me who are living in that hell now know that a brighter future can be theirs.  We all have our role to play and I know that my oppression and persecution was part of my path that brought me to be who I am today.  Maybe, sadly their persecution is part of theirs.  Who knows what future Gay Rights Activist is crying herself to sleep in Provo tonight?  I did it.  And goddammit I like who I am today.  Even if occasionally I loose my shit and write a nasty blog.  I’m going to keep on letting those poor gay kids who don’t have understanding families know that a wonderful life can await them if they can just hang on long enough to get there.

And in the meantime, the Mormons get to keep on preaching hate while wrapping it in piety and victimhood.  This is America.  And by damn they have that right.


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