Time Recording

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Lookyhere, it’s like this, I’m so frickin’ tired I can taste it. I been out there trudging through the snow all day makin’ it happen. Ugh. What a terrible expression. That’s what that faggot Marine said when he wrote to me the other day to brag out his matching Crate and Barrel place settings as a testament to his having overcome— the one who was so full of judgement about what a “victim” I am. Fuck her. (sound of braking, screeching tires) No, no. No negative rants tonight. If that Law of Attraction shit is real, I don’t want to be drawing to negative shit into my experience. I’ve had enough of that in my past life. Now it’s time for something better.

Lookyhere, it’s like this, I’ve been out there all day long loving being back in New York and following leads on work and places to live. I really have a lot to do and I’m going to have to get more organized about my approach. I have to get up and hit the streets pretty early tomorrow because I have to go back to the VA for a couple of things and then there’s an apartment broker that’s going to help us find our place and I also have to get some financial documents squared away with regard to my roommate agreement with Ron. You remember Ron, he’s my Sunbright Tennessee-born, Iraq Vet, Army (we won’t hold that against him), buddy who’s soon to be my roommate. He’s a bomb tech down at the new World Trade Center. That’s a hell of a responsibility. I love him. And to hear him talk makes me sound downright cosmopolitan. Hell, I am downright cosmopolitan— although— well, yeah, I’ll leave it at that.

I met a guy on Scruff that works at an off-Broadway theatre uptown. He gets comp tickets so I think we’re going to take in a show later this week. He’s wicked cute too. He’s way too young for me but he doesn’t think so. What is it with all these 18-25 year olds? I draw them like flies. My straight buddies won’t let me complain because they make the correlation and think— well, you know what they think. Anyway, can’t wait to get back in the theatre! It will be my first since my triumphant re-entry (cue music, palm fronds, donkey).

So the latest on the underearning thing— I haven’t mentioned it in a few days but you should know that I have been putting a lot of effort in laying a solid bedrock-foundation for my recovery in that area. Mostly the— well, it’s done a lot of things for me already but one of the main benefits is that I’ve been able to cut myself a huge break around the whole phenomenon. Let’s face it, there are more evil things one can do other than giving away his or her time and talents or not asking for more money when it’s deserved. Although doing these things consistently over several years landed me in a pretty shitty place. Those are only a couple of— well, y’all know the symptoms of underearning. We went through them together.

One of the first tools I’m using with regard to recovering from underearning is Time Recording. If you want to know what you really care about in life, take a look at how you spend your time and money! I’m doing it very imperfectly and letting that be okay. In the past, my tendency has been that if I couldn’t do it perfectly— well, fuck it, I’ll just not do it at all. That’s not the approach I’m taking this time around. Basically right now I’m just keeping a record throughout the day about how I’m am spending my time.  I can really see how being clear about how I spend my time and moving towards a more healthy and efficient budgeting of my time is going to lead me into a more serene and productive way of life. In fact, it already is— slowly, and in teeny-tiny little steps. But at least those steps are in the right direction.

Love y’all.

See you tomorrow.


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