Blistering Cold and Gratitude

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Seven til midnight, I’m just getting in

Eight below zero is the wind chill factor

Still no other place on earth I’d rather be tonight

My ears hurt bad by the time I got home

Absolutely had to wear my faggoty hat today instead of my ski cap

What was I thinking when I left this morning?

I did look good though

Damn Good

This is the friendliest city on Earth

Even when it’s cold

In the course of each day, I witness up close

A hundred acts of kindness

And I’m close enough to my fellow humans

To hear what they say and

Smell them

I love the way humans smell

Do you ever wonder if we stink to other species?

Like we consider some other species to stink?

I don’t really think any other species stink.

That’s just my opinion.

I got a great fucking gift today

A gift from heaven with regard to my new home

It is being made manifest right in front of my eyes

If you believe, all things are possible.

Tomorrow the broker starts showing me places

The move in is now going to be easily affordable

God must love me very much.

I’m going to make great use of my blessing.

New York, baby.

Fuck everything else.

Relax bitch. I’m kidding.

Sort of.

I screamed at my friend on the phone yesterday

And then again today

I was mad at the part of him that reminds me of the worst part of me

At least I have that awareness

Yesterday, I made amends for it.

Hang on, I’ll do it again for today

Part of me likes being a vitriolic asshole

Because I spent the first few decades of my life letting people shit on me

Maybe I should seek some balance in all that

If not, New York is the place I should be.

Shut the fuck up. I’m kidding.

Sort of.

I sent Spud a picture of myself headed out this morning

In my black hat

He said I looked like an Amish funeral director

I told him to suck the shit out of my ass

Then I sent him a package with a bomb in it

Luckily, when he opened it, it didn’t go off

I’d sent it super express mail.

He apologized for his comment

I apologized for the bomb

The temperature outside has now dropped from 10° to 8°

But the wind chill remains minus 8

That means the wind must have died down a little bit.

I’m a fucking genius.

The radiator is hissing and ticking.

Is there a more relaxing and cozy sound in the world?

Possibly not.

My deems are coming true

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly

Can you believe I was ready to kill myself in September?

Thanks for your prayers.

See y’all tomorrow.


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