Narcolep–

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JEFF: Nope, not tonight. I’m too damn tired. And I didn’t even go into the city. I just sent an email to the apartment broker and my caseworker at the veterans’ housing corp. I did get some stuff done toward some other things today that needed to get done. I’m sleepy and I’m going to sleep.

OTHER JEFF: Did you call and change your flight?

JEFF: I did.

OTHER JEFF: To when?

JEFF: I don’t remember. Around April 1, I think. That should give me time to find a place for the animals and me.

OTHER JEFF: You’ll find the right place.

JEFF: Thank you! That’s so nice to get some positivity. I’m so used to negativity from people around the whole apartment search. No wonder it’s been such a challenge getting the right place– all those people having negative thoughts about it and me and the process. Every thought’s a prayer, you know.

OTHER JEFF: What?

JEFF: Every thought’s a prayer. It goes out there vibrating into the ethers and helps to create the collective consciousness and the collective consciousness creates our collective experience.

OTHER JEFF: Really?

JEFF: Yeah, really.

OTHER JEFF: Then you better be careful whom you share your dreams with. All those people might just be out there thinking about how impossible it all is. I mean look at their lives. How many of them are living the life they always dreamed of? If you ask them why not, they’ll start listing all the limitations– the things that stand in the way of their getting what their heart tells them they want out of life, not their thinking. So what makes you think all those negative thinkers are just going to suspend their negativity and think positive and possible when it comes to the dreams you share with them. None of them are likely to say it’s their thinking that have them trapped in a life that doesn’t please them.

JEFF: Damn. I never really thought about it like that.

OTHER JEFF: It’s true.

JEFF: But they’re my friends. They’re pulling for me.

OTHER JEFF: You really believe that?

JEFF: Of course I do! Myra, Alan, Shana, Gordie, Pam, Stephan– I mean there are people who read my blog every day and I know they’re pulling for me.

OTHER JEFF: Those, yeah. But are sure there aren’t others out there who, because of whatever reason, their own shit, whatever, aren’t at least a little bit hoping–

OTHER JEFF falls into a narcoleptic coma, dropping first to his knees and then lying on the floor. JEFF crosses to him to shake him.

 

JEFF: Other me! Wake the fuck up! What’s wrong with you? You can’t end the blog so qu–

JEFF is overcome by sleep and falls into a deep sleep lying on top of the other version of himself.

 

Anne Hathaway, dressed as the White Queen glides onstage as if she’s floating on air. She covers the two men in a single, large fluffy white blanket and turns to the camera.

 

ANNE HATHAWAY: (doing her best Jeff imitation) See y’all tomorrow.


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