It’s Come To This

 What are these, the dark ages? I’m blogging with my thumbs tonight because I’m having major battery issues. The iPhone (on which I’m texting you) has one little drop of blood at the far left of the battery symbol and the iPad apparently has narcolepsy. The MacBook is in the hospital and will meet me along the trail when it’s fixed because I fly out Tuesday morning– yes, Tuesday and not Wednesday like I had thought until somebody pointed that out to me today! 

Somebody moved the 11th to Tuesday without my approval. I’ll be speaking with someone about this of course but it will have to wait until I’m on the plane because it should go without saying that it’s too late to change it now! I hope they have wifi on the plane. I’d rather level my complaint electronically in that if I actually got someone on the phone, and can’t really trusty self not to be vitriolic because of the extreme inconvenience having the 11th on Tuesday instead of Wednesday has caused me! 

I can pack for Europe in thirty minutes and have, in fact, several times. But this monthlong spiritual pilgrimage on which I am about to embark involves both a Vision Quest and burning Man and both of these things require unique and particular props! I’d hoped to throw a little something nice to wear to the theatre (my version of church) while I’m in NYC but you can forget that now because there simply isn’t room among the deer antlers, prairie skirts, and bejeweled military regalia! Oh wait– I’m actually shipping all the Burning Man stuff to San Francisco so maybe there will be room to toss something appropriate for play watching (my version of going to mass) in the suitcase as well. I don’t know what that might be in that since I went on this most recent push to meet my fitness goals, almost all of those type clothes make me look like a cased sausage or at the very least a Chelsea muscle boy. We all know I’m much more Silver Lake than I am WeHo– no judgents of course. I is who I is. Maybe I can run by the thrift store tomorrow in all my spare time to grab something big enough for me and sexy enough for My Big Apple. 

Who am I kidding? There’s not going to be a spare minute tomorrow. There’s still spray painting to be done on my post-apocalyptic/Mad Max/ repurposed desert war gear before it can be shipped!

I wonder who thought I would be able to manage all this without a staff! Probably the same asshole who moved August 11th to Tuesday! Let’s just hope I don’t wake up to find they’ve decided to have it on Monday instead! That, I would absolutely not tolerate.

So if I can get this iPad to charge I’ll try to grab it long enough to send you a blog tomorrow as I run around the house like a chicken with a proverb. If I can pull that off, I’ll

See y’all tomorrow.

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