An Un-suicide Note

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Tonight in our Warrior Writers meeting in New Orleans, one of the prompts was to write an “un-suicide note,” that is, in the “genre” of a suicide note, write to those  you won’t be leaving behind; friends, family, loved ones, enemies, et al. Hopefully you’ve not had to read a suicide note in your life. We’ve all heard one in a movie or on TV. Here’s my response to the writing prompt:

 

 

To Those Who Love Me,

This is probably not going to be the last thing you ever hear from me. I needed to explain my decision to you and I hope very much that none of you will hate me or feel like what I’ve done is selfish. Ultimately I have to leave that part up to you though because as much as I love you, I am not responsible for how you feel. It took me many, many years to figure that out. What I do, I do because I’ve come to a place where I feel that I have no other options. That’s why I have decided to commit un-suicide. I can no longer stay alive to suit your wants and needs when it comes to my life. Rather, I’ve decided to live my life for the joy of it and because a want to see what amazing adventures lie ahead for me on this path to whenever I will be kicking the bucket according to the regularly scheduled time. I hope that will be when I’m 80 as I’m saving a baby from a burning building or at 82 when my parachute doesn’t open. Until then I will be busy not killing myself.
I’m sure many of you will turn it over and over in your heads for the next several months and try to figure out how on earth I could have chosen to do this to you. Please try to put yourself into my position and realize I simply could not find a way not to go on with life.
Over the years I’ve tried many things to try to live a happier life and although I know I’ve reported many times to the contrary, some of them really do work.
When you receive this news, all I would ask is that you reflect back on the good memories we made together and don’t be sad. Be happy because you now know that there will be many more of them.
Many may disagree with my decision. That sort of makes me sad. But that is just something you’ll have to work out on your own.  Or you can call me to help you work it out because I’ll be alive.
I don’t really have a will, as such, but I’ve made a list of a few of the things that are sacred to me and who I’d like to have them when I’m gone. Just remember that you will probably have to wait a long time to get it and let’s face it, there’s always the possibility that you will die first. Sorry ‘bout that.
Please lean on each other; I know this news comes as a great shock to many of you. Together you will be able to sort through any negative feelings about my decision.

No matter how much this may seem to indicate the contrary, I really do love you.

To Life,
Jeff


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