Love in the Time of Corona: Yul Brenner Made Me Gay

Jeff Sessions was bound to lose. His sin? Turning on Alabama’s new messiah, Donald John Trump. It’s so strange– that this slick, yankee New Yorker could pull that off. But that just speaks to Trump’s amazing skill. Oh no, I know, he’s an idiot. No arguments from me on that to be sure.  But he’s also got skills, mad skills, and they all lie in the realm of “the art of the swindle.”  How can the people from the state of my birth follow that?! I was raised in honest-to-God backwoods Alabama and we were brought up to believe that, at the very least, as Christians, we weren’t supposed to brag. That’s all Donald John Trump does is brag. Growing up, I knew we weren’t supposed to be braggadocious and that was clear but we were raised to believe especially that a good person doesn’t brag things they shouldn’t be proud of, like a man bragging about how he wants to bang his daughter. Again, how can the Country Christians follow this man?!

One of my most politically astute friends, when I asked him if he thought Doug Jones had a chance, replied, “The only way Doug Jones can win is if the Republicans run another pedophile.” Anyone know if Tommy Tuberville had any contact with Jerry Sandusky?

You think I’m joking. But I came out of the political and social culture of Alabama, the same culture that is reflected in their politics. I was molested at 12. I am a victim of that culture. I take it seriously. 

Another smart friend of mine in Alabama says she believes Doug Jones has shot. She pointed out to me that I know a whole lot of intelligent and good people in Alabama who wouldn’t vote for a breakfast cereal if Trump endorsed it. She believes there might just be a few more Alabamians ready to choose good over evil.  I hope she’s right. 


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